the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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