So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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