Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
