Can Purell be used as lube?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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