A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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