IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
