It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
