I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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