I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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