i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
