he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
