but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
We smell like vodka and hangover
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
