that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The police scanner is talking about you again....
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Randomize
