you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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