dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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