I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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