Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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