PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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