So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
