She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
