You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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