He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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