Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
