I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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