Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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