No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
