Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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