we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
