the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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