You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
