My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
