I'm lost and stupid without you.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
