we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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