My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
