your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
