She's JV to your varsity
I smell stomach acid.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
