so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Will exercising make me less horny?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
