70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
