I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
