New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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