so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
