we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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