You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Success! We fucked roommates!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
