carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
