she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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