I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
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