Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
