Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
