Do you still have your period?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
