then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
